Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize