All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
