So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
