If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
