you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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