I must be too annoying 4 u.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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