do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
