I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize