Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
