Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
