You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
