There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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