Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
