Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
