i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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