Cold hands, warm shart.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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