I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
