would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
