Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
