Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
