Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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