Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize