at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
