Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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