No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
