All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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