YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
