i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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