well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Nobody cheats on THIS.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize