she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
