Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We left the knife in your bed.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
