It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
