6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
