i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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