Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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