Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
