Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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