Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
