i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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