HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
