do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
