omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
