Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
