More tranny stories later!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
