So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's blow job season.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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