escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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