I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
