Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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