WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
