We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
