you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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