Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
