Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize