I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
