So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
