We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
