my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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