my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
