this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
