i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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