i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize