I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
