I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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