Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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