its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We need to get me chipped asap
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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