Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
