let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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