guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
