I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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