in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
