the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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