I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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